date hazards.

this is my list of things not to order when on a date.
(especially the first date)

1. Squid ink risotto.
this would turn off your date completely when you bare your horribly tarred stained teeth in response to a funny or not so funny joke that was told.
this dish is only useful when you intend to look like a goth without the application of black lipstick.
im actually cooking this sometime this week only because i would be in the comfort of my home without a date.

2. Burger the LOT.
this comprises of everything you could want in a burger. hence making it MASSIVE, requiring the inherited genes of a huge mouth OR very good nibbling skills.
i personally do not have either.

3. ULTRA spicy indian curry.
fiery hot curry is best avoided to prevent any form of digestion mishaps.
this would include random sprints to the loo or a wind symphony from ur behind.

4. Durians.
i detest the smell or durians, not so much of the taste.
so i had to include it in the list.

5. sticky chewy chocolate.
when lodged onto the front teeth, the brown goo can give an illusion of a missing tooth. this gives me the impression of a country bumpkin with a southern accent and hay twirling in the mouth. so yes. not a very good mental image.

6. Garlic loaded anything.
the immense wave of pungent garlic breath after your meal will give your date such a shock that he might very well pass out. try not to consume unless thats your intention due to obnoxiousness or you suspect vampires lurking around.

so try to avoid these items on the menu the next time you go out on a date.
unless your date is boring, loud or horribly irritating.
then i suggest you DO.

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